Weasel Words
Dan Kunz
Shortly after dinosaurs stopped roaming the earth, I taught 9th grade English (among other things). It was a general English course, so we looked at all kinds of English-related topics, including “weasel words”. According to the Internet, source of all knowledge, weasel words are ones which are intentionally ambiguous or misleading. Words such as “may”, “might”, “could”, “can”, “virtually”, and “help” are examples. Advertising is especially known for using weasel words. “XYZ detergent will help get your clothes cleaner and brighter!” Will it get them clean, or will it only help get them clean? “The law firm of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe can get you the settlement you deserve!” They can, but will they? Senator Slippery is quoted as saying, “We’ve done virtually everything we can to solve the crisis.” Have you done everything, or virtually everything? The examples from everyday life are endless.
One of my favorite weasel words is the word “if”. I like to tease my grandkids when they use that word. I’m not sure where I got the expression, but I’ll respond, “If, if, if - if frog’s had pistols, there’d be no more snakes!” They always laugh.
We need to be aware of language which is intentionally ambiguous or misleading in lots of applications. Contracts, relationships, and business are all potential sources of misunderstandings or dishonesty. Even our faith-life needs to be protected. John 8:44b When he (the Devil) lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” The account of Jesus’ temptation in the book of Luke highlights Satan’s use of a weasel word. Luke 4:3, 7, & 9 “If you are the Son of God…If you then will worship me…If you are the Son of God…” Because our enemy is constantly looking for ways to attack us, he certainly isn’t above using weasel words against us, too. Cartoons usually picture a little angel sitting on one of our shoulders and a little devil sitting on the other. That’s not such a bad image of our sinful nature and the new man battling against each other for control of our choices. The Devil, the world, and our sinful nature regularly tempt us with illusions of fame, success, pleasure, and dozens of other “gotta have’s” in our life. Lies, half-truths, and even truths are tools used against us.
Satan’s playbook is full of questions such as:
If God really exists, why would he allow something so terrible to happen?
If God loves you, why doesn’t he take away your cancer?
If God can do anything, why does he let wars break out?
And his all-time favorite – Could God really allow a sinner as bad as you into heaven?
As I told my freshmen English students, knowledge is the key to almost everything in life. This is no exception. When you are aware of words meant to mislead, you can at least be on guard against them and whoever is using them. Don’t allow advertisers to lead you to buy something which may or may not be what you need or want. Don’t allow politicians to convince you they are the “real deal”. Most of all, don’t allow Satan to beguile you with lies or half-truths which have the potential to harm you eternally. Jesus lived a perfect life, died a perfect death, and rose from the dead to guarantee your eternal life with him. No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it